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Judging By Potential

Everybody judges other people. So if we are going to do it, why not do it right!

Do you like apples?

Consider that you answer yes to this question. Are you sure that you like apples? What about all the apples that fall off of the tree and rot? What about those that never ripen? What about those that become infested with worms? None of us like those types of apples. And yet we easily say “I like apples.” We have effectively made a judgment about something based on only one aspect of that objects existence. Namely, we have chosen to only consider apples that reach their full potential.

Human Potential

There are all sorts of characters on this planet. And each person is going through many phases of personal development, each on a trip towards realizing their fullest potential. So when we form a judgment about someone in our minds, are we judging them for whom they are right now, or are we remembering their infinite potential?

A couple quotes come to mind:

“Every sinner has a future, and every saint has a past.”
“A saint is a sinner that never gave up.”

Phases of Growth

Say a young kid does something offensive to you. We don’t consider that kid bad. He is just a kid! In so many ways, he or she might not know any better. In the same way, how can we judge a person who is a criminal? Or who has hurt us? Or who seems to be reckless? Isn’t it simply their state of progress. In many ways, they also don’t know any better. Has anyone shown that person a better way? Has anyone demonstrated it for them? When people insult me, out of habit, I immediately bite back. But I never stop to consider that this may be the only behavior he has ever been shown in life. So how can I judge him?

“Would it be right for an old man to say that childhood is a sin, or youth a sin?” It is simply their phase of growth.

Judging Others Really Means Judging Ourselves

You may have heard “Judge not, lest ye be judged yourselves.” I would say it differently:

“Judge not, because when you do, you immediately judge yourself!” There is no maybe about it coming in the future. That self-judgment happens instantaneously.

And just how does that work?

Say you tell yourself, “Dude, there is that guy who is always telling lies.”

Just how were we able to recognize that behavior in the person? It’s because we’ve done it before!

What if I have never told a lie before in my entire life?

The previous point may be a little hard to get at first. Say someone says something untrue, and it produces some negative reaction in your mind. I contest that if you have never said anything untrue to anyone before, you would not realize that the other person’s action was at all inconsistent. If you had never told a lie, how is it possible for you to form any impression or judgment about the action you have seen? All reason depends on past experience. When you see smoke, and conclude there is a fire, it is because you have seen fires in the past giving off smoke. Had their been no concept of “lie”, then the incident would have simply passed by your mental vision, and would have been calmly witnessed, without forming any judgment.

So when we recognize the fault of another, and then pass mental judgment, we really reinforce the fact that we ourselves exhibit that behavior. And in reinforcing that fact, we create a larger barrier for us to break out of as we try to overcome that behavior. In that sense, we immediately suffer the consequences of judging others. This gives weight to the old saying:

“Takes one to know one!”

Differing Standards

When a person forms a judgment, it is based on that persons own standards. Who is to say that those standards apply to the other person? When we judge, really on a certain level, we are at least in part claiming to ourselves that our standards are alone right, and that other standards are not acceptable. Standards differ not only in degree, but in kind.

“Every man should take up his own ideal and endeavor to accomplish it. That is a surer way of progress than taking up other men’s ideals, which he can never hope to accomplish. For instance, we take a child and at once give him the task of walking twenty miles. Either the little one dies, or one in a thousand crawls the twenty miles, to reach the end exhausted and half-dead. That is like what we generally try to do with the world. All the men and women, in any society, are not of the same mind, capacity, or of the same power to do things; they must have different ideals, and we have no right to sneer at any ideal. Let every one do the best he can for realizing his own ideal. Nor is it right that I should be judged by your standard or you by mine. The apple tree should not be judged by the standard of the oak, nor the oak by that of the apple. To judge the apple tree you must take the apple standard, and for the oak, its own standard.”
(Vivekananda)

Love Does Not Judge

It is better to help people accelerate through their growth by giving love, and by not reacting. When we return blow for blow, we stunt our own growth, and we stunt the growth of others. When we “turn the other cheek” so to speak, it is not that we are letting ourselves be walked on. We are simply accepting that this is the state of growth of another. He is on his path, and I am on mine. Everything is as it should be, and I am not bothered by others.

And wouldn’t it be so much more fun not to judge? Wouldn’t it be like losing 50 mental pounds! I can only imagine. But in truth, it is much easier to lose 50 real pounds than it is to remove even a part of our numerous preconceived judgments about other people and the world. So let’s all try and practice non-reaction a little bit more, before we get fat in the head.

So, do you like apples?

If you like human beings, let it be because you have seen great men and women walking on planet earth both now and in the past. Realize that all people have the same potential to become like those great people. In this sense, there is no distinction between human beings, and there is really unity, because the same infinite potential is in everyone.

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